Buttigieg’s bicycle does laps in the president’s brain

Welcome to another edition of “What the hell did Trump just say?”

By Sam Bellamy

While grifting and grafting across the Middle East this month, Donald Trump paused for a televised meeting with Qatari officials and U.S. business leaders to share his thoughts on … something.

It’s pretty hard to tell what, as it often is.

Here’s a sample, beginning at the 9:05 mark in the first video below:

“Uh, when you look at what's happening with Russia and Ukraine, the drone is killing tremendous numbers of people. You hide behind a tree, and the drone comes down, and it circles you with fire. You don't have a chance. That tree comes down also, by the way. So intense. I mean, you see, these trees being knocked down, like, like they're being sawed down by the top-of-the-line, uh, timberman, like, like, you know who? Sean Duffy. Do you know that Sean Duffy, the head of the transportation department, who's working right now on the airports and getting a system because Biden didn't do a thing for four years, and Pete Buttigieg was the head, and he goes bicycling to work. He takes a bicycle to work. Can you believe it? He’s running the biggest air system in the world, and he takes a bicycle to work. What a — and they say he's going to run for president. I don't see it. Who knows, right? But I don't see it, but uh — when I look at what they've done, it's so horrible what they have done. And the work they did do, they wasted billions of dollars. They tried to hook up air systems to copper. They tried to hook up copper to glass, and the glass doesn't work with the copper, and they had 30,000 different contractors doing 30,000 jobs, and when they put it all together, they spent billions of dollars. It didn't even come close to working, and we're going to be giving out a brand new system. It's very important. We’ll have the best system, and we think we know who that system is, but we have a lot of a lot of bidding, but we want one check. We want a unified system, so we don't have 5,000 contractors in all different places, some digging ditches, and some not doing ditches because they want to go by satellite. Satellite seems to be the way to go, but — so, we're going to be giving that out pretty soon. But, but what people don't know about Sean is – I mentioned lumberjacks – that Sean, you probably didn't know this, uh, that — I'm not talking about this Sean (Trump points off camera), this Sean is not, this is not — it's a different Sean. Sean Duffy, the head of transportation. He's a great Sean (Trump points off camera again), though, I have to tell you, but Sean Duffy was the world champion for five years, climbing trees up and down (Trump gestures up and down), a world champion. So that's what you call a serious lumberjack. And he’s doing a fantastic job, a really respected guy. A terrific guy, and I mentioned the champion because when somebody's a champion, he's the world champion for a long time. He came down — when you come down those trees, coming down at a rapid — he said that’s started getting your back. You will often break your back. You miss, you miss a shot, and you're coming down a lot faster than the human body was meant to come down. But he's doing a fantastic job at transportation.”

There’s more, but I’ll leave it to you to hear in the original Queens accent. Be sure, though, to savor the expressions of the other attendees when Trump wraps up his brilliant exposition on … something.

It turns out Trump thinks quite a lot about Buttigieg’s bike. In the second clip, the president begins with a lament that he was about to award a contract for a new air traffic control system before the 2020 election was “rigged” against him. He continues:

“When they took over, Buddhajedge, who has no clue — you know, he drives to work in his bicycle with his, with his – in all fairness, with his husband on the back, which is a nice loving relationship, but uh, he didn't have a clue. This guy didn't have a clue, and he's actually a contender for president between him and [Jasmine] Crockett. You can have that party, but uh, he didn't have — he didn't know what he was doing.”

Trump is your boy, Republicans. Tell us again how Democrats covered up Joe Biden’s cognitive decline?